Can someone please teach me (instantly) how to program Lua/Cairo?!

Weeeeeellll. Another feature of Conky 1.7.2 that, it has to be said, makes it closer to TAKING OVER THE ENTIRE WORLD, is the built-in set of Cairo & imlib2 bindings for Lua. (Don't worry, I'm not entirely sure what that means either...) What it does is make things, like the following, possible:

From Screenshots

The pies in this little beauty were accomplished with a script by Conky's own main dev, Brenden, using Cairo in a Lua script. The .conkyrc, Brenden's original script, the modified version that got me the screenie above, along with the screenie to guide you, are all packaged together over on my gnome-look.org site.

I only WISH I had this kind of skill!!! (Hence begging for someone to teach me!) But alas, I have no patience, and my brain is already onto the next thing. I must admit, I depend on y'all, my loyal Conky fans, to come up with something brilliant instead...

Happy Conkying!